Friday 3 January 2014

2 down, 13 or 18 to go!

Started radiotherapy yesterday so I've now had two sessions! I'm still not sure if I'm having 15 or 20 in total.

I have been told that I am most likely going to become tired towards the end of the treatments, I also need to take careful care of my skin in that area. No deodorant and no shaving under that arm for a while, which I'm not impressed about!

The whole process is very technical but very straight forward, I lie on a table, they move me about and shout lots of number's to each other and all I have to do is lie perfectly still. They then leave the room and the machine makes some noises, then moves and makes some more and that is it. Nothing to see, nothing to feel, nothing to smell. Simple.

I have on both sessions found myself sending death wishes to any cancerous or pre-cancerous cell that may have tried to survive so far, if any. Little crazy, but I sense it's good for my mental health.

The only thing is I become very emotional led there on that table, I have not yet cried but both times I have felt like doing. I'm not sure why. Whether it is a feeling of lack of control from my side of things, knowing I am taking another big step, not knowing exactly what it is doing, the fact I don't know how it will make me feel or it may simply just be caused by the complete change in my hormones. It's very hard to explain. I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed...

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