Good news and difficult decisions...

Been to see my consultant today, fabulous news - bone scan and CT scan were both fine!! Huge relief. The bling has also been taken out finally, it's much more comfortable and I'm well impressed with the wound / the way it's healing!

Mammogram's hurt, my Mum warned me of this, but I was still not prepared for that one. Least it's done now, till the next time at least anyway.

I've also been given an appointment finally to see the fertility people in Manchester on Wednesday. I sense this being a difficult and very emotional appointment. Out of all of the treatment, my fertility is the part that worries me the most, I can cope with the sickness and hair loss etc, but this worries me. At 24 it's a big decision to be making, and one I feel the world shouldn't be making me do. That lump is receptive to my hormones, so basically my hormone's feed its growth. So far I have gathered that my choices with regards to fertility include

• Keeping my fingers crossed and waiting to see if everything kicks back into place at the end of treatment, maybe with the aid of an injection after chemo to suppress my oestrogen production, which could in turn protect my ovaries but has no guarantee.
• Pump my body with lots of hormones that will feed that continually growing lump and delay my chemo by around 3 weeks to gather eggs and either save them in that form or save them as embryos.

Maybe Manchester will clarify things or give me more option's. We shall see.

All I know is that I do not want to be making this horrible decision, and that the next week or so will be a massive emotional rollercoaster. Not only for me but also for my boyfriend, it's an even bigger and harder decision when there's two of you.

Not quite feeling so chirpy today, but tomorrows a new day, who knows what that may bring. xx